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ADAPTED CHILD
A·dapt 1. To make suitable to or fit for a specific use or
situation.
Synonyms: Adapt, Accommodate, Adjust, Conform, Fit, Reconcile
The central meaning shared by these verbs is
"to make suitable to or
consistent with a particular situation or use ":
I find that the Adapted Child is the most problematic ego-state.
Most authority
figures (in real life) prefer Compliance over Rebellion, for a variety of
practical as well as psychological reasons. This is part of the tyranny of
trivialization.
My belief and experience in psychotherapy is that the process
of the
Compliant and Rebellious Child is the same -- it is the working out of a
person’s (the little person) agreements with themselves and others about
what is fair, what they have to do to survive -- in the ordinary and“ in
extremis” situations.
In psychotherapy, I find that Over-Compliant and Over-Rebellion
are about the
same process -- having to adapt to imposed circumstances that are onerous,
demeaning, denigrating, divisive, dis-respectful, and unhealthy -- whether
that is 1st degree, 2nd degree, or 3rd degree, usually 2nd degree.
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Care must be taken in differentiating between the Social Level
and the
Psychological Level of Compliance and Rebellion. It is often to easy to dismiss
the psychological value of ADAPTATIONS to maintain our own comfort level.
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ONE OF THE CHALLENGES OF BEING A THERAPIST, MOM, DAD, BOSS
. . .
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