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DEMANDING - Arbitrary and capricious demands for obedience
without thought. “Because I said so!” “Do as you are told ! -- Did
I ask you to think? -- Don’t question me!”
DESTRUCTIVE - Thoughtless words and behaviors that hurt and
invite fights, withdrawal, and invite people to defend themselves
by generating low self-esteem, bad feelings, bad behavior, and
unnecessary pain.
DISCOUNTING - Minimizing or ignoring some aspect of reality
that needs important attention:
“You are not mad, you are just upset.”
“That is nothing to cry about, just forget about it.”
DEMEANING - Name-Calling, (“You are dumb”, “Your ideas are
stupid, ”Your friends are crazy”). Put-Downs. Shaming. Blaming.
Undermining a person’s dignity.
DIVISIVE - Creating emotional competition. “You are
smarter / dumber than he/she/they are.” You are right, they are
wrong. ”Never trust anybody, you will always get hurt.”
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