BELIEF



MOST OF THERAPY IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

BEING WILLING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU WANT

BEING MENTALLY HEALTHY IS DETERMINED BY WHAT YOU DO NOT THE IMMEDIATE RESULTS THAT YOU GET FROM OTHERS

LOVE IS EFFORT OVER TIME

HEALTHY& SAFETY - DIGNITY - AGREEMENTS THESE ARE THE BOTTOM LINES IN RELATIONSHIP - DIGNITY IS THE MEAT IN THAT SANDWICH AND IS OFTEN THE MOST PROBLEMATIC - LISTENING WITHOUT JUDGMENT IS THE FASTEST WAY TO AVOID MAJOR BREECHES OF DIGNITY - ANOTHER WAY IS TO SAY "TELL ME MORE" A UNIVERSAL WAY TO AVOID A DEFENSIVE FIGHT
RULES FOR RULES FOR RULES FOR	HEALTH & SAFETY DIGNITY AGREEMENTS	ESTABLISH ESTABLISH ESTABLISH	PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL SOCIAL	SECURITY SECURITY SECURITY
AFTER THESE MINIMUM LEVELS OF SECURITY AND COMFORT ARE ESTABLISHED CHILDREN ARE FREE TO LIVE LIFE COOPERATIVELY, EXPLORE THEIR CREATIVITY, INTERESTS, CURIOSITIES, CHALLENGES, AND BE WINNERS. I have looked for years to find exceptions to the need for these rules and the need for them to be expressed clearly in words. Having found no exceptions, I look to you for your perspective. see also in the handouts under : CHILDHOOD ISSUES The Basics in Childhood

THE ADAPTED CHILD IS USUALLY THE MOST PROBLEMATIC PART OF A PERSON HAVING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS -- THE SENSE OF "DUE-ME -- DO-ME" AND SENSE OF ACCOMPANYING ENTITLEMENT GENERATES MAJOR "FEELING" REACTIONS THAT ARE NOT RESPONSIVE TO RATIONAL INPUT UNTIL PEOPLE CALM DOWN

THERE ARE OK RULES FOR THE CONTENT ENGAGEMENT THERE ARE OK RULES FOR THE PROCESS ENGAGEMENT MOST OF THE GOOD ONES WE LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN - IF WE HAD A GOOD TEACHER

THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS IN CHILDHOOD
ERRORS OF OMISSION ERRORS OF COMMISSION
NOW THAT WE ARE GROWN-UP WE HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF BOTH THESE PROBLEMS THIS REQUIRES 3 ELEMENTS : - DECISION - - PLAN - - SUPPORT - DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TROUBLE WITH THE DIFFERENT PARTS CONTROL STRUGGLES WITH "DECISIONS" TO CHANGE NO PRACTICE OR BASIS ON "HOW TO PLAN" LONERS DOING WITHOUT SUPPORT

THERE ARE 3 ENTRY POINTS IN THERAPY - 3 THINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE
THINKING - FEELING - BEHAVIOR
In considering changing these 3 elements of personality in therapy, I believe that behavior is the easiest intervention mode. That is why I give so much behavioral homework. When clients don't know where to start, or what to do with what they have, I suggest the
ABC's OF CHANGE ALTERNATIVES - BELIEFS - CONSEQUENCES
What are some ALTERNATIVE behaviors that I might learn to do ? What do others do ? What are some BELIEFS that I have about my behavior that limit my growth and change ? What are the CONSEQUENCES of my behavior ? What does my behavior generate for me ?
Experimenting with change is often fearful. Remember the flip side of the fear coin is excitement. Changes in behavior, of course, generate thoughts and feelings which are new grist for the mill. One of the values of group therapy is that people have the opportunity to discuss and cross-check the ABC's of change with one another and generate different perspective. The "I thought that I was the only one that felt that way" aloneness problem is given a "voice" in group therapy. The value of group is also that people can share their courage along with their ideas and other contributions.

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